Thinking about Minding the Gap

 There was this idea mentioned in Minding the Gap that I thought was very interesting. Midway through the documentary Nina talked about how she had never been allowed to become her own person and develop her individuality because she was always having to be a sister, daughter, girlfriend, or a mother. I think that this sentiment expressed by Nina really shows how toxic masculinity and the patriarchy restrict women from truly becoming people, forcing them to always define their identity in relation to how they serve and are valued by the men in their life. This sexist belief that women are nothing more than a tool or object made to serve men in their lives is extremely dehumanizing and creates a mindset that makes women more prone to stay in toxic and abusive relationships. By preventing women from defining their own identities beyond the scope of their relationship with the men in their life, we teach them that they are nothing on their own and that their only value comes from what they serve to someone else. Both Nina and Bing’s mom expressed that part of the reason they did not leave their abusive relationships at first was because they were even more afraid of being alone or because they kept on getting false hope by the few good moments they would have with their abuser. Society has raised women to constantly excuse men's negative behaviors, making it so that women are more forgiving towards abusive men and teaching men that their toxic behaviors are okay. We see these societal beliefs taught with the use of phrases like “boys will be boys” and “he hit you or is teasing you because he likes you”. The dismissal of toxic behavior from boys towards women that starts at a young age sets the foundation for abusive relationships to form in the future, which is extremely dangerous. We as a society need to allow women to define themselves on their own terms and teach them that they have more value outside of their relationships with the men in their lives, along with teaching men that the toxic behavior that they exhibit towards women from a young age is inexcusable and that “boys will not be boys”.

Comments

  1. Letitia MoffittDecember 1, 2022 at 7:52 AM

    Well said!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lukas PerdekampDecember 5, 2022 at 12:05 PM

    Hey Andrea. Nice post. I have never watched this film, but what you said makes a lot of sense. Good explanation.

    ReplyDelete

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